Coronavirus — A Journey Within

For a person who loves being with other people and being active, this journey within is a necessary but truly a twisting and turning way of life right now. I grew up that having differences with other people in my family wasn’t possible. I had to make sure I agreed with everything or I had to pay a very heavy price which involved becoming unsafe within my body. I am finally reconciling differences are strengths. I know this when it comes to work and external information. But when it comes to self-worth, validation, self-love, self-care; differences from others tear my soul apart because I still listen to that old message that “I am unsafe.”

But here is the gift of the coronavirus for anyone who lives by themselves and doesn’t have a strong family support system; you have an opportunity to go within and find inner peace. Your inner peace is realizing you are no longer that little kid who is unsafe. That you are a strong beautiful soul full of life not having the need to control others to make them agree. But allow it just as it is. The gift is in differences is the truth. For someone to be completely honest and vulnerable is someone showing their own vulnerability and what a honor that is. And you don’t need to change it. Because it provides you valuable information.

For example, if someone doesn’t want you in your life which can be difficult when you have suffered a lot of loss; you can also rejoice in the truth that your path just isn’t the same as theirs. And what inner peace gives is to know that you don’t need to change it. The gift in not having to change someone else’s choice is because you are already safe within your own inner peace.

It has taken me almost 53 years to learn this and I keep learning and building on it everyday. What a gift that we can have differences and still be standing there, safe. No one hurting you unless you choose that choice. It’s a powerful thought, decision, and way to live. And I wouldn’t have found it if I wasn’t forced to go within. I was dreading every bit of it.

I was fighting it every inch of the way. But it was pointed out to me that sitting with that uncomfortableness is powerful. Sitting and allowing the dust to settle and allowing it to be without interfering within anyone’s elses wishes a powerful choice. It means you don’t need to control another person for your safety because you are already safe. This was something I truly didn’t know. I am so often reacting to my PTSD and in fight and flight mode. I rarely sit still and know I am safe because I am too busy protecting myself from getting hurt.

But taking the great pause had caused me to see that I am indeed safe. I can choose to know inner peace. It is my choice to choose. And what a beautiful feeling it is to know that I do not need to look over my shoulder to see if I am safe. But to know from my feet to the root of my head that I am grounded by inner peace. It is a beautiful gift to be safe within your soul. Thank you for letting me share.